28/1/2017: For the first time since I don't know when, I am writing a blog after just a couple of days. :) I am rather happy to be writing here because I always feel better when I do. Much of the time I spent writing these blogs was in the weeks and months after Dad passed away and sometimes that was the only thing that got me through my days was caring for Tamas and writing about them. I never want to stop writing.

So a little update on my situation from before....

As mentioned in my last blog I had an increase in my medication (antidepressant) and it did more bad than good for the first few days. I left work at lunch time on Thursday and didn't go back.  Well when I got up on Friday morning I actually felt a lot better and it ended up being one of those truly enjoyable days where I have no anxiety, my appetite is great and I just have an overal feeling of well being.  It truly was a great day.  And I even had to get blood work done first thing that morning and I still felt great.  Matt was there with me as well since he needed to get blood work done. He came back to my house after that and we spent the day together doing laundry and hanging out.

Today as in Saturday I woke up feeling just as good. I got up around 9:45 and took care of my Tamas and then immediately ate breakfast.  Mom and I ran some errands at Walmart and got mcdonalds for lunch and I was still feeling great.  Tonight we had a bunch of people over for dinner and again, I felt GREAT! The only down side of the evening was that I hadn't seen my cousin Laura in a while and she was worried about me since my Mom had been talking with her on the phone a few nights back, and she mentioned to Laura that I really wasn't doing well.  So I was trying to tell her a little about what has been going on, but it is just so hard to explain to people.  I can hardly explain my anxiety to my doctors let alone anyone else.  Regardless of such, I have a lot of support from all of the people who were here tonight for dinner, including Laura.

Now I am here at home and everyone is gone home except for my Grandma.  She and Mom are playing scrabble and I am here in my room thinking about what my next move is going to be.  I have to get well enough mentally to go back to work this week.  I see my doctor on Monday and I have to tell her about the horrible time I went through with my increase in the zoloft.  Not only that, but I gotta talk to her about how bad I've been feeling for the last few months.  It's like I make a little progress and have some "content" weeks as I like to call them, but then I just fall right back into anxiety and panic again.  I really don't know what to do about this anymore, and I don't know how to deal with any of it.  I fear loosing my job always even though my employer always reassures me that my job is safe.  But man.... I just take so much time from work... I feel like one day enough is gonna be enough and they are gonna have to let me go. :( So that is what I am here thinkng about tonight.  I keep telling myself that my health comes first and I am no good to be at work if I am not well.  But at the end of the day I have bills and I have to earn a living.  And I am not going to get an easier or more stress free job than I have.   My job has never been the problem.  The problem is my anxiety and panic and my ability to make it through the work day without breaking down in a wave of fear and panic.

So you might be wondering about my Tamas and yes some stuff has changed since the last time I wrote. Excuse me I need to reply to miss Kat on Facebook chat. Okay I am back I had to tell her she is fabulous. :) So Tamagotchi! Mimitchi Tamagotchi passed away on me today at his normal dying age of 22.  I was hanging out over to Matts place and I had been keeping him in my hand literally all day because I knew he was gonna pass on me.  He passed just shortly after 3pm and I restarted him right away.  I got my little Tonmarutchi right next to me as I type this. :) Soon I will have Mimitchi back.  And with the time I'm going to be taking off for the next few days, I should have no problems getting him back.

My other Tama, the yellow/orange Japanese P2 is also a Tonmarutchi. He was sick earlier and needs one more discipline and then he will be changing into his teen stage. The two Tonmarutchi look so adorable together. :) Simply too sweet for words. I am hoping for Zukitchi on that Japanese P2.

My Yasashii Tamagotch changed into it's adult form this morning while I was still laying in bed, and that is all I am going to say about that here.  I will be updating those blogs tomorrow.  I didn't have time to do the animation of the character I got today because things were so busy here, but I will definitely get to it tomorrow.

Same goes for Devilgotchi - I actually updated those blogs yesterday, so the animation of my adult and such can be found over on those blogs. :) Such a wide variety of Tamas I have going.  I never thought my site would grow so much. :) It keeps me very busy lately and I couldn't be happier about it. Just wait until I get into the Connection Tamas..... ;) Hehehe. Shawn will be in heaven then!

So that is my Tamagotchi situation for today.  Four Tamas is a pretty comfortable number. I sure wish that Yasashii Tama was a bit smaller so it would be easier to bring him around. He is one big Tama, but I have been bringing him everywhere with me except work which sucks. Anyways.... It may just need to be a Tama that I raise when I know I will have some time off from work. Even a long weekend would help!   I really hate pausing when at work.

Anyways I am gonna head over into bed now with my little Tamas and watch some Netflix! I will keep my Tonmarutchi (yellow/blue Tama) up with me until I go to bed. By the time I write my next blog I should have sweet Mimitchi back. :)

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