14/1/2017: I guess it's about time I write a blog! It's been yet another busy week at work! I've not just been doing my own work, but also training new temp employees on how to do document control. By the time 4:00 came yesterday I was exhausted and came home and went to sleep for an hour.  I'm definitely not a people person in that aspect, but the two ladies I have been training are really nice so that makes it easier. :)

Ok Tamagotchi time! I got Mimitchi back! My little bundle of joy returned to me on Thursday morning just shortly after I got into work. I was so happy to see him! I had been chatting to one of my coworkers over at her desk so I missed him changing.  When I got back to my desk I picked up my yellow&blue Tama to see he was back again. He is doing just fine at his young age of 8. :) Been letting him live his life by normal time so far. I figure there isn't much sense in pausing him since I just feel like life is gonna be busy no matter what, so he might as well just live his life normally.

I still have little Ginjirotchi here as well. He is 14 years old today and sadly getting more on the demanding side now. He was sick the other day and then got sick again this evening so his days are definitely numbered. I am still so glad to have gotten him back as my New Years hatched Tama. :)

If you have read the Mesutchi Osutchi blogs you know that Pipotchi passed away. Poor sweet thing died on me yesterday while I was working... Now I just have my pink Mesu left running and she is on pause. I won't be raising another pair of Mesu and Osu just yet, but you can be sure I will again someday. :)

I've been dedicating lots of time to my Devilgotchi and to my surprise he changed again on Thursday night. I updated the Devil blogs with a photo but haven't gotten around to making the animation yet. I will get to that tomorrow hopefully!

I know that my last blog was rather sad and depressing when I got so personal about my life, but that is just how life goes sometimes. I can't help my terrible anxiety and depression, and it's simply a part of who I am. A lot of people shy away from the subject, but I am pretty open with everyone I know about it.  I just feel safer talking about it in more detail on my website where I don't anticipate anyone from my real life ever reading.  Nobody in my real life knows that I even have a Tamagotchi website. :P

Either way, this week has been just as hard anxiety wise so I've been depressed still.  I gotta give myself some credit, though. I get up and go to work everyday even though I am in a state of fear and I do the best I possibly can.  I go into the office with a smile on my face and try to hide the fact that I am so scared.  I gotta fake it till I make it is what I keep saying! I know that things always get worse before they get better, but I just don't know when rock bottom will hit..... I have hit a bottom before and then things start to look up. I remember the year I hit my bottom which was well over ten years ago and then I actually got some peace in my life.  I really keep praying for the day that I am going to find that peace of mind again. I just don't know when it will be...

I bought an electronic cigarette last night.  Did I ever mention the fact that I smoke in these blogs?? Well I do.  Smoking is actually one of the major reasons that all of my anxiety came back so bad.  I started smoking at a time in my life when I had no anxiety and things were on the up and up.  In one weekend back in 2010 I took my first drink and had my first cigarette and within a year pretty much all of my anxiety came back again.  It took one weekend for me to become addicted to smoking and I have yet to quit. I bought the electronic cigarette and today I am still smoking real cigarettes. Isn't that nice??? Ugh... Being labled as a smoker is not something I want to be anymore because I am so much more than just a smoker. And with all the health anxiety I have I still haven't quit. It is just really shameful on my part....

Anyways I won't go on and on like I did in my last blog.  Really not a whole lot else going on in my life except trying to make the best of each day.  One day I want these blogs to be positive and happy.  I guess I just gotta keep hatching Tamas in the meantime because there is nothing unhappy about those little critters. :)

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